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Lady Sings the Blues

July 27, 2010

True Blood is like one of those carts in an abandoned mine shaft that the protagonist in whatever action/adventure movie you’re watching jumps into, without considering the consequences and then all hell breaks loose and the cart goes careening through twists and turns at warp-neck speed. As you watch any given episode, so much happens that your brains get loose. But, at the same time, that is exactly why we love it.

This week’s episode (entitled “I Got a Right to Sing the Blues.”) was no different. Written by series creator, Alan Ball, the episode opened with King Russell bringing Bill and Sookie back to his mansion. No Alcide, though. I wonder why? As Bill and Sookie are dragged into the foyer, Eric and Talbot are on their way back from last week’s tour of the mansion, Lorena is on her way down the stairs and poor Tara is tied up upstairs (in the same gown the grandmother from Little Red Riding Hood wore). Bill jumps to action, staking the bodyguard and then bounding over to Russell’s shoulders. Russell shuddered and threw Bill crashing into the ceiling in the process. Talbot was none too happy that his house was being defiled and started pouting then stormed off. Russell tells Lorena to kill Bill. Eric tries to take Sookie into the other room, but not before she threatens to kill Lorena is she hurts Bill. Lorena, in turn gives us the best soundbite of the night: “Oh please, please try. Without that sanctimonious little prick Godric to save you, I would just love to rip you open and wear your ribcage as a hat.” Exit stage right. That is how you end a scene.

Lorena and Bill got boring quickly, so I won’t discuss. The next time these two saw each other, Lorena was feeding off of Sookie.

Sookie, on the other hand, had a more interesting storyline. She was escorted from the room with Eric (what is he – 8 foot tall?) who told her to shut up but we all know Sookie can’t do that. Eric then covered her mouth with his hand. And all was right in the world. What was Eric thinking about? Probably just how interested in Sookie he really is. He just found out that the King is the one responsible for his family’s death, so he has centuries of weight on his shoulders and this annoying little blond girl might not make the cut. I don’t blame him. She’s starting to resemble the Energizer Bunny with that shit.

After her meeting with Eric, Russell (by the way, is it me or does Russell not look a lot like Bill when the gel has fallen out of his hair?) came in to discuss “what” Sookie is. She doesn’t know. He asks her more questions, humoring her as she demands to ask her own. She doesn’t ask anything important. He shows her the dossier Bill has on her family, but that does little to interrupt the incessant begging for someone- anyone – to save Bill. If this were a satire, we would be cracking up. Since it’s not, it’s pathetic. When Sookie gets thrown into her room for the night – very nice digs, by the way. Thanks, Talbot. Tara channels her mind, telling her that she will help them escape in the morning.

Oh, back to Tara. She convinces Franklin (who’s freshly shaven, but upset that Tara didn’t notice) to untie her so they can have wild, crazy sex. She says she wants to drink his blood so her last sex as a human is out of control. Rutina Wesley is playing the hell out of her role this season. The look of disgust on her face as she prepared to bite Franklin got me. They fell asleep and then she wakes up, grabs a mace off the Wall of Torture (good job, Talbot) and beats the living shit out of Talbot’s head. The kind of attack that would get her a death sentence if she went to trial. She left, looking crazy with her entire being drenched in blood.

She took a second to clean up and then appeared outside of Sookie’s room, delivering the second best lines of the night:

Tara: You got that little blond girl in there?
Patrick Swayze Wolf: Yeah, what’s it to ya?
Tara: Talbot’s serving her blood for dinner tomorrow night and she’s only supposed to be eating almonds. That’s what it is to me.
Patrick Swayze Wolf: I ain’t heard nothing about almonds.
Tara: If she ain’t eatin’ almonds, Talbot ain’t gonna be happy and it Talbot ain’t happy, Russell won’t be happy and if Russell ain’t happy, you and your dog boys ain’t gonna be getting any vampire blood. Now open up the Goddamn door!

Tara and Sookie escape and all Sookie can talk about is saving Bill…. I wonder if Tara wants to send her up to Franklin’s room to get that mace so she can beat Sookie’s brains out too. It didn’t happen. Dammit. Sookie does stop talking about saving Bill long enough to ask Tara what she was doing there. Tara’s response: “Killing vampires and saving your ass.” She maintains her wit during turmoil. Five extra points.

In other news:

  • Jason is boring this season. That is all.
  • Sam’s storyline stepped up, with the realization that Joe Lee has been using Melinda and Tommy in dogfights. Ain’t that some shit? Sorry son of a bitch. No pun intended
  • Lafayette and Jesus had a sweet, tender moment in the car, when Jesus wanted to kiss Lafayette and Lafayette held back. It was nice. I understand why Jesus was upset to find out that Lafayette is a drug dealer, but… damn, we love Lafayette. Don’t leave him this soon!
  • Arlene and poor, orphaned Jessica provided the comic relief for the episode when Tara wasn’t onscreen. Arlene accidentally cut her finger and Jessica – who’s starving because she’s not learned how to drink from humans without killing them and apparently True Blood tastes bad – accidentally lets her fangs show. Arlene was scared and begged her not to eat her. I laughed. Jessica ended up feeding off the last customer of the evening in the ladies’ room.

Speaking of the last customer, catch this scene…. does it outrank Tara? Maybe. This might be #2 for the night.

Crazy Lady: What is your vegetable of the day?
Arlene: That would be the peas.
Crazy Lady: And how are they prepared?
Arlene: They’re dumped out of a can into a big pot and heated up. Where do you think you are lady, Red Lobster?

And is it just me or did that scene remind you of the late, great Julia Sugarbaker, Dixie Carter. And then I remembered that Ball is a gay man. He could easily have structured that scene around the fast food episode of Designing Women, the second-most iconic sitcom for gays after Golden Girls. Remember the episode when Mary Jo was broke and started working at the fast food restaurant and the girls drove her down and told her to quit, but they were short-handed that day and Mary Jo jumped in and the next thing you know Julia, Anthony and Bernice are working at Burger Guy and there’s a customer who blah blah blah… just watch it.


the whole thing is funny, but if you must: skip to 1:20 for the scene.


Oh, and the preview for next week:

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One Comment leave one →
  1. July 27, 2010 7:47 PM

    Was Alcide there when he took Sookie and Bill? I gotta watch it again

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